The Scanner

Riley Vasquez stood in line at the Lihue Airport feeling fatigued after a long weekend with his parents and a long drive in his father's old, non-air conditioned, Dodge Van. It was a 40 minute ride from Waimea, with a small clip-on fan fastened to the oil-stained sun visor blowing dusty, tart air into his face. He stood in line with dark circles of sweat sagging from his armpits and a wet V sinking down his back.

He had 40 minutes to get to Gate 6, which was right around the corner. The airport was smaller than a strip mall, and it's saving grace was one small bar overlooking the tarmac. Riley would be there in less than 10 minutes with 30 minutes to spare for a drink, and then he would be on Hawaiian Airlines floating home.

The line moved slowly, and the airport workers waved the flyers through slowly. Up front, he noticed a large device that he hadn't seen before. Passengers were stepping onto two large platforms with two walls facing each other. They stood with their feet apart and their arms held wide like Da Vinci's Vetruvian Man. A blast of light later, they were led off the platform and into the terminal.

"What is that?" asked Riley to the man in front of him.

"That's the new scanner. It sees right through your clothes. If you're carrying any contraband you gotta ditch 'em now."

"As in, X-ray?" asked Riley, tiptoeing to get a better look.

"As in, naked. Nude. Balls and all."

"No way."

They watched a woman get onto the scanner and marvelled at the idea that the scanner was seeing through her pleated skirt.

“I wonder if her carpet matches the luggage,” the man said.

“Disgusting,” said the old woman behind them, her lunar complexion growing more ruddled as the line shortened.

"Sign of the times," said the man and stepped forward.

Riley emptied out his pockets into the rectangular plastic bins. Behind him, a woman was complaining. "That is a complete invasion of privacy."

The man in front turned around to Riley and said "They can see birthmarks, tattoos, piercings..."

This got Riley nervous. Back in Waimea, he visited his ex-girlfriend, Kristie. It was routine for them to have a few drinks and fool around while he was at home. Their dissolution was mutual. She had never wanted to leave Kauai. She had never even wanted to leave Waimea. Although she may have appeared to have had a small town mentality, she was never one for convention. Before he left, she gave Riley a small gift. It was a penal ring with feathers and carved wooden daggers hanging from it like charms from a bracelet. Connected to the ring was a panel of feathers held against the base of his shaft and up against his pubis with a hemp string that wrapped around his waist. Behind him, the string was fastened with a small shark's tooth and a loop. She gave him head as she fastened it around him like a necklace. It was like some strange and loopy ritual that she had invented with no true cultural basis and he submitted to it like a rite of passage into a parallel universe. Numerous beads hung from the hemp, which became braided as it led to the thatch of feathers erupting over his pubic hairs. It looked ridiculous but he had left it on. There was nothing detectable anyway. What worried Riley now was the central wooden dagger. It was longer than his penis, and it came to a sharp, realistic point. It also seemed odd that it was serrated. Why would a bit of ornamentation meant to be worn so close to the Corpus spongiosum sport such authentic craftsmanship? "So they see you naked? Your body? Everything?" he asked.

The woman behind him sneered. "Perverts! They see your entire god given body. I bet they're having a ball!"

"Or two," chuckled the man in front. It was his turn next. He stepped up onto the platform and took his stance. "Get an eyeful?" he asked. Then he turned around and stepped off. The guard ushered him back onto the platform. "Can't get enough?" the man snapped, standing still for a few minutes.

When the guard waved him off, he muttered, "definitely no threat here, hop along," with a smirk.

The man lowered his head and walked off quietly.

The guard looked to Riley and waved him on. "Next!"

Riley hesitated.

"Brah. Get up here," bellowed the guard. His fist was the size of a coconut.

"I gotta use the bathroom," he stuttered.

"Batch-room's right pass da scanner. Bruddah, you got something fo' hide?"

"Just my fancy underwear," Riley tried to joke.

"No worries. Unless you strapped," said the guard. Maybe he had seen it all. This eased Riley's nerves slightly.

The image composed by these scanners were known to produce two distinctly different styles of images. The backscatter, which used low-level X-rays produced images that resembled chalk etchings. These were softer-edged and concealed more of the human body. The second method made use of the millimeter wave, which used electromagnetic waves to create vivid black-and-white images that resembled photo negatives. These images were far more detailed and intimate. The scanner that Riley stood on utilized the millimeter wave.

When Riley stood on the platform, the rays bounced off the front and back sides of his body. The images were then composed and transmitted to a guard in a closed room. The image the guard saw was of a man hiding a large serrated knife under his penis, with smaller exacto blades and bullets festooning a leather strap. The feathers looked absolutely warlike, and the shark's tooth gleamed in the negative like a talisman.

The guard quickly picked up the telephone and barked, "We got a freak. Take 'em down. Take 'em down now!"

Three guards jumped on Riley. One guard hit him across the face with his cinder block fist and Riley's legs went slack like pants on a clothesline. Two of the guards stood him up, and the third guard, ignoring protocol, attempted to relieve him of the weapon on site. At first he thought the weapon was concealed on a strap outside of his underwear. Upon further inspection, he realized that it was fastened to his entire waist. He unhooked the shark's tooth from the loop and began tugging. Riley began screaming. Although the hemp string had been undone, the ring was still fitted around the base of his shaft. Riley, sensing that the edge of the wooden dagger, no matter how dull, would also do irreparable damage if the guard were to continue pulling cried "It's stuck! Stuck along my privates! Please!"

The guard, confused, frustrated and unable to make sense of Riley's screaming simply tore Riley's pants off.

The woman behind him screamed. "What in the name of Sweet Jesus!"

The guards, flabbergasted, all howled. "Hoooooly shit! You must know Kristie Kabutan form Waimea!" they laughed. "That girl is crazy!"

Later that day, after the police had filed their reports and everything had been cleared up as a misunderstanding, Riley filed a letter of complaint with TSA. Later that week, two of the guards were let go for misconduct. By week's end, it was discovered that the guard who had been monitoring the scanner's images that day was romantically involved with Kristie. When he saw the X-ray image of Riley wearing the exact same undergarment that he himself had been wearing, he lost his temper, overreacted and exaggerated his findings.

It's a small town after all.